everybody wants the kind of love that will make them think they are all in a dream. movies and sappy romance novels have made a lot of us believe in the love that we have a notion of now. i don’t think that’s it. love will make you go crazy literally. it can make you do things you’ve never thought of doing before. love is not really always butterflies in your stomach. it’s sometimes having you’re day ruined by the one person who can make your day. sometimes it’s tongue-tied and awkward silence. sometimes it’s stolen glances and smiling at text messages. regardless of what it is, if you really strived for the love you think you deserve, you will have it and you will deserve it. a lot of people may break your heart, trample on your being, make fun of your existence, use you, manipulate you, turn you into something/someone you are totally not, but do not lose sight of yourself. yeah, you could lose yourself in this whole love thing which is crazy, love is a paradox, a pocket of contradictions, a crack on the wall, a broken fingernail. love can make you lose your friends. it can make you seem like a fool, or be a fool. but it wouldn’t matter then because you’re in love and you can count on that as an excuse. again. but that’s not always healthy for your well being.
love is real. yeah, it really exists. it’s everywhere. it’s not always the romance and the bouquet of roses. but really, we’d all want something like that. regardless of the things we do to seem indifferent to the world. we’d still need and want a love like opening doors and pulling a chair for you or slipping in letters even if we find romantic films cheesy or corny. eventually, we’d all want to settle in. and when that time comes, and you’re totally alone, you begin to wonder why you came to be that way. sometimes, the feeling of overwhelming numbness despite being surrounded by friends and fun washes over you like a blanket in summer.
i don’t really know why i had to make this kind of post. it’s just that i have a lot of things in my head and things happening to friends, to people i love and to people i just abhor. i can’t really put a name to this wandering feeling i have since the month started. and the things that are happening are not helping. or it could be just the rain.